Memories.

I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and safety from being understood. Oft times, I have always had this Writer’s block where even if I wish to express what I feel, I am unable to put pen to paper(literally) many times, and the thoughts then become Passé. It all belonged to me and the lapse belongs to me. It also happens that I am unable to defend my stance about an event and then brood about not rising to the occasion. The choice was mine. Recently, I have felt the blow from the destined occurrences as a cruel lashing for my unprepared emotions. Heavens showered me bounties by way of many individuals, both young and aged, to help me come to terms (literally). I am reminded about so many beautifully expressed emotions when someone somewhere put down for records, for a discerning individual as me to be able to relate. I keep telling myself, ”Something else lies waiting for my attention as destined. So I let go the ‘hurt’ and embraced the ‘unknown’.” 

Reminded of the beautiful lyrics of the song written by Sahir Ludhianvi, sung by famous singer of yesteryear’s Mahendra Kapoor tuned to music by Ravi:

Naa muh chhupaa ke jiyo aur naa sar jhuka ke jiyo ( Never live by hiding your face nor bowing your head in shame).

Gamon ka daur bhi aaye toh muskura ke jiyo. (Even if the phase is of unhappiness, still you must smile and live). True, relatable. How did the lyricist Sahir Ludhianviji come up with these pearls? When I felt humiliated & hurt about something that happened in the past, these words were as soothing and had the effect similar to the balm applied for a headache.

’Ghataa meh chhupke sitare fanaa nahin hote’

( The stars do not loose their existential status by being overshadowed by the dark clouds).

’Andhree raat ke dil mein diye jalaa ke chalo’

(Light earthen lamps in the heart of the dark nights). 

The lyrics are tuned further as if a tryst with your future is the sole onus of the individual, instead of brooding and seeking response to your questions to ‘unknown’: 

’Yeh zindagi kisi manzil pe rukk nahin saktee’

(This life cannot stop at any destination so move ahead steadfast with every step). 

’Har ek makaam pe kadam badaa ke chalo. (Move towards your destination step by step)

During my visit last time to my college ‘Indian school of mines, Indian Institute of Technology Dhanbad’, I clicked for remembrance the space, my favourite perch in the corridor facing the moon in all its glory. There, as a teenager I spent so many glorious moments in my five years college life. Times were then but the memories now. Melodies that soothe are the same. I do listen to the above number by and many other numbers  of Mahendra Kapoor, Mohammed Rafi, Hemant Kumar, Mukesh, Mannaday, Lata Mangeshkar, Shamshad Begum etc very often. Music heals and memories do cheer me up even now after a long period of 49years (five decades).